Operation Reindeer Games 2014: This is Not a Drill!

PHOTO: Army Spc. Jess Nemec and 1st Lt. Sarah Johnson/Released

Blog-editor's note: This post was originally published on the Red Bull Rising blog Dec. 23, 2013, and again here at the now-archived mil-blog digest "The Sandbox."

We've since FRAGO'd the dates and the illumination data, and topped it off anew with a holiday shot (above) from the Minnesota National Guard's 2nd Battalion, 147th Assault Helicopter (2-147 A.H.B.), 34th Combat Aviation Brigade (34th CAB).

Those Red Bull aviation soldiers are currently deployed to Camp Beuhring, Kuwait, and elsewhere. Check out more photographs from "Task Force Shield" at here or here. And remember those deployed and their families in thoughts and prayers this holiday season.

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OPORD 12-2014: "OPERATION REINDEER GAMES" ... ALL TIMES SIERRA

I. SITUATION: TASK FORCE SHERPA continues holiday sustainment operations vicinity FOB LIVINGROOM.

1. Enemy Forces: 

Refer to Appendix X, "Naughty List." 

2. Friendly Forces / Attachments: 

a. One (1) soldier, callsign "SCOOP," from TF GI-JOE Mobile Public Affairs Detachment, location OP ELFONSHELF.  

b. One (1) Pathfinder-qualified soldier from 1225th Special Operations Aviation Regiment ("The Night-stockers"), callsign "RUDOLPH," location AO ROOFTOP.

c. Five (1) soldiers from 334th Brigade Support Battalion, 2-34th BCT attached as Forward Logistics Elf Element (FLEE), callsign "WORKSHOP," location AO UNDERTREE.

d. Ten (10) 03s-a-leaping from HHC, 2-34th BCT attached as command-and-control cell.

PHOTO: 34th CAB, Minn. Army National Guard, 2013

3. Weather and Terrain: 

High of 29 degrees Fahrenheit; low of 18 degrees. No effects on current snow cover. Condition WHITE for sleigh-borne operations.

4. Illumination:

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow is not likely to give the lustre of mid-day to objects below. Moonset is 242017DEC14; peak illumination is 10 percent. Civil twilight is 250708DEC14. Sunrise is 250739DEC14. 

As noted in After Action Reviews of past holiday ops, however, SUGARPLUM elements have been known to stir well before light conditions warrant, or even Christmas Reveille.

II. MISSION

"TF SHERPA secures LANDING ZONE CHIMNEY NLT 242330DEC14 and conducts resupply via reindeer-drawn miniature sleigh during hours of darkness prior to 250710DEC14. On order, commences opening of presents and distribution of holiday themes and messages."

III. EXECUTION

1. Commander's Intent:

TF SHERPA will conduct safe and secure receipt of Christmas gifts, minimizing boots-on-ground time and distractions for RED-RYDER-6. Endstate is a Happy Christmas to all personnel, and to all a good night.

2. Concept of Operation:

We will start by ceasing all garrison activities, troop movements, and roving patrols beginning 242100DEC14. No personnel should be stirring. Not even a mouse. Stockings will be hung by the objective with care. All SUGARPLUM elements will be nestled all snug in their bunks. 

RED-RYDER-6 will arrive LZ CHIMNEY during hours of darkness, and will successfully evade detection by SUGARPLUM elements and local civilian air-traffic control. 

Following the operation, TF SHERPA personnel will prepare to conduct Key Leader Engagements with both sides of the family. 

Throughout this operation, TF SHERPA personnel will also reinforce themes and messages of "Peace on Earth, goodwill to all" via appropriate official STRATCOM channels, including social media and telephone.

3. Maneuver:

Under no circumstances should unauthorized personnel stir to investigate clatter from exterior areas, including rooftops.

4. Fires:

On order, 1-194th Field Artillery will provide 1.55 cm artillery-delivered tinsel as chaff to defeat detection of TF RED-RYDER by regional air-traffic control radar.

5. Coordinating instructions:

Authorized sleeping uniform is kerchief, cap, or green fleecy hat; MultiCam pajamas; and red-and-white "candy stripe" reflective safety belt. Noise and light discipline will be maintained per SOP. Senior personnel are encouraged to employ red-light headlamps or night-vision devices.

6. Specific instructions:

Headquarters will redeploy public affairs team member SCOOP from OP ELFONSHELF to vicinity LZ CHIMNEY for documentation of gift-giving operations NLT 250700DEC14. Mission focus will be on "telling the Christmas story by telling our Army story."

IV. SERVICE & SUPPORT

1. 334th BSB will provide (1) Meal, Ready-to-Eat to RED-RYDER-6. Ranger cookies and shelf-stable milk are appropriate. On order, also provide one (1) 64 lb. bag of Reindeer Chow.

2. Religious services are 241900DEC14, and 251000DEC14.

V. COMMAND & SIGNAL

1. Location of Key Leaders: 

HOUSEHOLD-6 and HOUSEHOLD-7 will be in the command bunker after 242100DEC14. 

2. Succession of command: 

HOUSEHOLD-6, HOUSEHOLD-7, SUGARPLUM-1, SUGARPLUM-2, and the dog INDIANA. 

3. Callsigns: 

Holiday callsigns are NOT authorized. Under no circumstances should SUGARPLUM elements refer to HOUSEHOLD-6 as "NUTCRACKER-6." The previously published SOI was in error. HOUSEHOLD-7 is very, very sorry. 

4. Challenge / Password for 24DEC14 is: "SMOKE" / "WREATH." 

5. Challenge / Password for 25DEC14 is: "BOWLFUL" / "JELLY." 

6. Running password is "FIGGY PUDDING."

VI. SAFETY

1. Use ground guides when backing reindeer. 

2. Use drip pans and chocks when parking sleighs. 

3. Don't drink nog and drive. 

4. "Safety first, Christmas always."

The Shambling Mound of Paperwork

More Annual Training notes from June 2010 ...

That "brain trust" of clear-headed thinkers who are regularly tasked with writing the elegant, intricate, no-detail-left-unturned instructions for the more than 3,000 soldiers and airmen of 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 34th Infantry Division (2-34 B.C.T.)? I hate to tell you this, but it's less like "rocket science" and more like "making sausage."

Welcome to the "Future Ops," folks, also known as "Plans." Watch your step, mind the ducts, and pay no attention to the men behind the curtain.

The Plans officers and NCOs get a little slap-happy sometimes. Sleep-deprivation and self-imposed isolation in their own "cooler" of a tent will do that. So will all the fumes from the midnight oil and those candles burning at both ends.

One night (or was it day? Working in well-lit windowless tents is like living in a casino) the guys figured out that the Plans team is authorized a Ghillie suit, a raggedy type of specialized camouflage more likely to be used by snipers or scouts. Wear a "Ghillie" or "Yowie" suit, and you look like part of the countryside, all leafy and earthy and stuff. It's like a Swamp Thing costume, if you're a fan of old comic books.

Needless to say, in the wee small hours of the afternoon (or was it beforenoon?), the Plans staff began work on the design for a Shambling Mound of Paperwork, a vaguely office-worker-shaped version of the mythological creatures I remember from my game-playing adolescence.

The proposed Staff Ghillie ("Staff Yowie"?) would be constructed of white vinyl, covered with coffee-stained spreadsheets and half-baked memoranda, and sprinkled with fragments of burned and useable CD-ROMs, sticky notes, and witty barbs. In addition to the basic load of darts routinely used for making complex decisions, soldiers wearing the suit would be issued a standard semi-automatic stapler for self-defense. And eye protection. And a reflective safety vest.

Can't show you pictures of it, of course, because it would just look like any other messy office. So I have substituted here a photo illustrating one of the other grave dangers faced daily by Plans staff.

To paraphrase pioneer, patriot, politician and honorary Planner (hey, remember the Alamo?) Davy Crockett:

"Sometimes you eat the Plans worm. Sometimes the Plans worm eats you."