A FOB-themed Eatery? 'Welcome to T.G.I. FUBAR's™!'

No joke. Chris and Daisy Oswalt plan to open a FOB-themed restaurant near 

Camp Pendelton, Calif.

In a news report recently highlighted by author David Abrams' ("Fobbit") official Facebook page, former Lousiana National Guard soldier Daisy Oswalt and her husband Chris discussed their plans to open a military-themed restaurant near Camp Pendleton, Calif. The "FOB Bunker Bar and Grill" will serve items such as burgers, fried fish, and (wait for it) "M-WRAP" sandwiches, "Napalm nachos," and homemade Meals, Ready to Eat (M.R.E.).

The acronym "FOB" stands for "Forward Operating Base."

"We’re about the survivors, the guys who went through hell," Chris Oswalt told the Marine Corps Times. "For this generation of desert warrior, they’re going to see a lot of the things from the FOB to make it like home as much as possible."

Sounds great, except for the fact that you don't want a FOB-themed restaurant to seem like home. If anything, you want it to feel like a FOB! That, and that a FOB isn't so much of a hell, as much as it is a pergatory.

Here are some of our suggestions to help take this casual-dining-under-fire concept to the next level:

• Staff will make announcements of birthdays and incoming mortar rounds over a Big Voice loudspeaker, which long-time patrons will come to ignore.

• Retired sergeants major will serve as maitres d'. No one will spell the plural of either term correctly.

• "No blouse? No boots? No prior service."

• Drive-through lane will randomly close for 1 to 3 hours each day, while customers await arrival of Explosive Ordinance Disposal (E.O.D.) to declare the route safe.

• "Try our Boomin' Onion(tm)!"

• Complimentary service of "disinfected / non-potable" water; ration of 2 lbs. of ice per customer per day.

• Complimentary MRE crackers at table. Under no circumstances should these be taken internally.

• "We proudly serve Green Beans coffee!"

• Take-out containers will be Styrofoam clamshells. Non-uniformed personnel will not be authorized take-out.

• Catering by Mermite available upon request, not less than 72 hours in advance.

• "Do you want live-fires with that?"

• Dining room patrons will be required to open-carry an unloaded and cleared weapon at all times.

• Reflective Safety Belts will also be required. Especially in front of the salad bar.

• Big-screen televisions will display patrons' favorite sports events via Armed Forces Network. All air-times will be offset 13.5 hours.

• Restrooms will consist of portable chemical latrines and hand-washing stations.

• Kitchen personnel will wear hair nets and "beard arresters."

• "Warning: Pork chops contain pork."

• Battle captains and NCOs will be entitled to "buy-one, get-one" special on so-called "TOC-O Tuesdays."

• "Join us for salsa dancing Saturday!"

What should we to call our new restaurant enterprise? Here are a few ideas we're knocking around:

• "T.G.I. FUBAR's"

• "Kentucky FOB Chicken"

• "Iraqibee's"

• "Hard TOC Café"

• "Groundhog Dave's"

• "Red Lobster Rising"

• "There-and-backagain's"

And, finally, our current favorite:

• "Hooah-ters"

Mil-Poetry Review: 'Letter Composed During a Lull ...'

"Letter Composed During a Lull in the Fighting" by Kevin Powers

In a 2014 poetry collection titled "Letter Composed During a Lull in the Fighting," Iraq War veteran Kevin Powers successfully bridges between stories of service and sacrifice, and explorations of an individual's place in society, geography, and history.

The poems are often short—many are just a page or two, and only a few clock in at more than three. Without losing any richness of word or meaning, Powers' language seems somehow less lyrical, less breathless, than his critically perfumed 2013 novel, "The Yellow Birds," which is set during the Iraq War. Rather than sweeping readers along in rapid and burbling rivers of prose, page after page after flowery page, the poetry collection delivers discreet dispatches of experience—bite-sized and chewy.

As a result, the work is accessible, approachable, and eminently shareable. Believe it or not, this just might be a poetry book you could read aloud in the barracks, without starting a fight.

The book comprises 33 poems, and is divided into four parts. The first half contains government-issue titles such as "Blue Star Mother" and "Meditation on a Main Supply Route." In these poems, Powers unfolds and unpacks the drab nomenclature in ways that resonate with soldiers and those who love them. In "Improvised Explosive Device," for example, he re-imagines the poem first as a bomb to be detected, then gradually expands the metaphor in waves of heat and smoke and jagged metal. Even before he lights the poem's figurative fuze, there is a desperate need to detect the threat, to perceive the unseen, to see where things lead. It begins:

If this poem had wires
coming out of,
you would not read it.
If this words in this poem were made
of metal, if you could see
the mechanics of their curvature,
you would hope
they would stay covered
by whatever paper rested
in the trash pile they were hidden in.
But words or wires would lead you still
to fields of grass between white buildings. [...]

Powers' poetic explorations of the military experience include eyes on the home front. In "Separation," his narrator rails against a group of "Young Republicans / in pink popped-collar shirts," and then moves on to consider the loss of youth, identity, and even his weapon:

[...] I want to rub their clean
bodies in blood. I want my rifle
and I want them to know
how scared I am still, alone
in bars these three years later when
I notice it is gone [...]

In the book's second half, Powers relocates his reconnaissance of dread and isolation to different times and different terrain. There is fire here, as well as earth. He takes the reader to Dresden, Germany, seconds before the flames of World War II, and to the pre-apocalyptic moments before our sun goes supernova. He tells the story of a bloodied working-class Toughman competitor, losing to win a way out of West Virginia. He revisits a broken lock and canal on the James River, a place of childhood memory, which has twice failed to bring about an economic boom.

In all of these tales, Powers continues to probe questions of where and how an individual is rooted, whether in time or place, history or dirt. In "Grace Note," he writes a dirge familiar to any weary traveler. It does not explicitly mention war, but one can easily read war into it:

[...] Yes, we're due:
a break from everything, from use,
from breath, from artifacts, from life,
from death, from every unmoored memory
I've wasted all those hours upon
hoping someday something will make sense:
the old man underneath the corrugated plastic
awning of the porch, drunk and slightly
slipping off into the granite hills
of southeast Connecticut already, the hills sheaved off
and him sheaved off and saying
(in reply to what?) "Boy, that weren't nothing
but true facts about the world."
That was it. The thing I can't recall
was what I had been waiting for. [...]

Scenes from a Memorial Motorcycle Ride

More than 250 riders participated in the Third Annual Donny Nichols Memorial Ride and Poker Run, which originated in Shell Rock, Iowa last Saturday morning, Aug. 30.

On a gray Saturday morning alongside a small Iowa river, more than 200 motorcycles and their riders assemble a rolling memorial to U.S. Army Spc. Donny Nichols, killed in action in Eastern Afghanistan in 2011. There are hugs and handshakes, laughs and raffles, drinks and food. There are also still a few tears. And, of course, the more-than-occasional sound of two-piston thunder.

Located along a river with which it shares a name, the town of Shell Rock, Iowa, pop. 1,296, boasts an picturesque downtown. The main drag is a few blocks of brick storefronts, comprising a couple of bars, two hair salons, a daycare, the Solid Rock Baptist Church, and city hall. On this day, both drinking establishments post signs welcoming bikers in for breakfast. The sky is overcast, which, I am told, isn't necessarily a bad thing. Fewer sunburns that way, one of the riders says. There is enough wind to wave the flag. Occasionally, the sun knocks though the ceiling. In all, good weather for a memorial event—partly sunny, with dark cloud bunting.

Memorial to Army Spc. Donny
Nichols located at Waverly-
Shell Rock High School,
Waverly, Iowa.

Donny Nichols, 21, was killed April 13, 2011 in Laghman Province, when an improvised mine detonated under the vehicle in which he was traveling. There's a memorial stone to Nichols now, located on the grounds of Waverly-Shell Rock High School, from which he graduated in 2009.

Equally important in maintaining his memory, however, is an annual memorial motorcycle ride and poker run his friends and family run in his name. This year marks the third such event. Each year, the event raises funds for a different patriotic charity or veterans'-related cause. This year, it was Flags for Freedom Outreach, a Lake of the Ozarks, Mo. non-profit that supports and remembers wounded soldiers during recovery and reintegration.

In the pre-ride gathering are two service animals associated last year's fund-raising beneficiary, Retrieving Freedom, Inc., a Mississippi- and Iowa-based non-profit that trains service dogs for use by military veterans. Together with their trainers, yellow Labrador "Valor" and black Labrador "Bender" win hearts and minds while circulating through the crowd.

Registration takes place on a sidewalk outside of The Cooler. ("The HOTTEST place in town," according to a sign.) There, volunteers take registrations, and sell T-shirts, bandanas, and other fund-raising merchandise. They also sell tickets for a "50-50" drawing—the winner takes half, with the remainder going to charity.

The "Forward Operating Booth" of 34th Inf. Div. Assoc., which donated
$5 for every "Red Bull" emblem displayed by passersby.

Across the street, members of the 34th Infantry Division Association are conducting a free raffle for two "Red Bull" division flags. Nichols was a member of Headquarters Company, 1st Battalion, 133rd Infantry Regiment (1-133rd Inf.), which is located in Waterloo, Iowa and part of the 34th Infantry "Red Bull" Division (34th Inf. Div.).

In 2010-2011, the Iowa National Guard's 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 34th Inf. Div. (2-34th B.C.T.) deployed more than 3,000 troops to Afghanistan. News reports noted it was the largest deployment of Iowa soldiers since World War II.

Justin Foote signs a "Red Bull"
flag donated by the 34th Inf.
Div. Assoc. to the family of
Donny Nichols.

At the group's new "Forward Operating Booth," 34th Inf. Div. Assoc. members chat up other "Red Bull" soldiers, past and present. In addition to the flag-raffle, the group donates $5 for every "Red Bull" image—patch, tattoo, membership card, T-shirt, whatever—displayed by ride participants and attendees.

Ashlee Lolkus of Johnston, Iowa, who was a public affairs soldier during the 2010-2011 deployment to Afghanistan, is part of the association's outreach team in Shell Rock. "We're looking for new ways to celebrate our 'Red Bull' history, from WWII North Africa and Italy, to 21st century Afghanistan and Iraq," she says. "Donny's story is part of that tradition, and we're proud to help remember him."

Members of the event's road management team sported high-visibility
T-shirts featuring a "Red Bull" emblem.

Wearing a high-visibility yellow T-shirt with a "Red Bull" on the back, Ken Halter is part of the road management team for the event. The team rides ahead and helps block cross-traffic, when necessary. Halter, who is also a member of the Patriot Guard Riders, was part of the team that helped out with Nichol's funeral procession. "This is just kind of what we do," he says. "Serve the soldier, and the soldier's family."

Local law enforcement officials also help out along parts of Saturday's route, a round-trip that includes stops in Shell Rock, La Porte City, Waverly, and Waterloo.

Emcee J.R. Rogers

Using a microphone and speaking from a sidewalk curb, J.R. Rogers of Denver, Iowa, formally opens the event. "The numbers [of riders] are always very impressive here," he tells the crowd. "I'm in awe of them every year. And ... it always looks pretty bad-ass when we roll in together."

("The Red Bull [emblem] is again incorporated into the ride," Rogers says later in his remarks, "not only as a tribute to Donny, but to his brothers and sisters who continue to serve in uniform.")

Rogers calls the crowd's attention to the family and friends of U.S. Marine Lance Cpl. Joshua Davis, 19, killed in Southern Afghanistan's Helmund Province on May 7, 2010. Some of them wear kelly green T-shirts from their own memorial ride in Perry, Iowa, conducted earlier in August.

More formalities: Those gathered in the street recite the Pledge of Allegiance–there's a large flag hanging from the side of the building–and Pam Hart of Allison, Iowa sings the U.S. National Anthem. There is a quick drawing for the name of the first 50-50 winner, and then the riders begin to mount up for the day's ride.

Jeff and Jeanie Nichols ride a three-wheel Harley-Davidson painted out
as a tribute to Donny Nichols.

Donny's parents, Jeff and Jeanie, ride to the front of the formation in a Harley-Davidson three-wheeler painted out as a tribute to Donny. Depicted on the vehicle are stars, stripes, and pictures of Donny and his military awards. Just over the license plate is painted a banner, which reads, "Riding in tribute to Specialist Donny Nichols."

Suddenly, there is something like a rumble of thunder. The riders collectively roll out, surging toward the next stop. Together, they become a pulse, a connection between towns and people, a memory of a storm.

They will be back. Remember.