19 May 2010

Fortunes Favor the Red Bull

Regular Red Bull Rising readers may recall a semi-regular exercise in which my buddies and I chow-down on Chinese food at a local grocery store, then use our fortune-cookie papers as intelligence regarding our upcoming deployment.

Much like the old high-school gag of adding the words "in bed" to the end of a fortune, we add "on the deployment." Makes it more interesting.

Until today, we'd gotten away from the practice, maybe because we thought we'd found all the good ones. Recently, however, we decided that the West Coast fortune cookie factories must have delivered a new shipment to the shores of Iowa. Either that, or the grocery staff have taken to stuffing our Red Bull cookies with fortunes that are nearly too good to be true.

Check these beauties out:
  • "Others see you as lively, friendly and witty ... on the deployment."
  • "You will make a fortune with your friend ... on the deployment.
  • "Look for the dream that keeps coming back ... on the deployment."
  • "Your original ideas will get you well-deserved recognition ... on the deployment."
  • "You will soon be changing your present line of work ... on the deployment."
And, the ultimate one-fortune-to-rule-them-all:
  • "You will be promoted soon. Be Flexible. Opportunities are All Around You ..."

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